Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Five Year Plan

It's 2010, a brand new year.

I've been pondering for the past few days, trying to gather some thoughts and ideas and goals, some sort of direction for this new year. I feel like a blank slate. It's as if I've been walking around with a clipboard and a pen listening, thinking, observing, reading, talking, struggling, struggling for something, anything, to write down. You know what? Zilch. Nada. Nothing. I feel completely void of ideas, goals and direction for the future past this very moment.

My Sweet Niece Lindsey posted an honest, and humbling post A New Year...A New Me in which she was asked about her and Brian's Five Year Plan. I don't know what she actually said at the time but in her post she responds with a scripture Isaian 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither your ways my ways declares the Lord."

Like Lindsey I am not against planning and long term goals and financial regulation to make those goals and plans happen. I admire and envy people who can form a plan and make it happen. But for me life is just not that way. I've tried but it's never happened. Not the way I planned and worked toward anyway.

I cling to Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."

I say "I cling" but actually I stray, a lot. I get scared, tired, panicky, frustrated, and feel totally out of control more often than not it seems. Then I get back to trust - Trust in the LORD, trust in my husband, trust in myself, trust that everything will be all right.

My clipboard is no longer a blank slate. It says, "Thank you Lord for the plans, for welfare, for the absence of calamity, for a future and for hope." "Your thoughts are NOT my thoughts (thank God) and my ways are NOT Your ways (thank God again).

Life is a series of one day at a time. Moment by moment. Thank God Again and Again.

1 comment:

Amy said...

MOm, I think feeling like a blank slate is a way of allowing God to write his goals for you. Yes, I know we are the type that DO have these financial etc. goals-but we also have to not lean on our own understanding and be open to God changing "our" plans and directing our plans. Some of us are more "goal setters" then others....along with that we need to rely on God's provision and ask Him for his plans for our life.

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